Mary’s Weekly Scrapbook

Hey everyone, and happy Monday! I hope it’s a good one, wherever you are in the world.

I’ve decided to change “What Mary’s Doing This Week” to “Mary’s Weekly Scrapbook” because it’s always full of stories and pictures and other bits & bobs, just like a scrapbook! It feels more “me” 🙂

Today marks one full month since I came home. It’s going blessedly fast for me, but very slow for Jon.

I feel a bit less fragile now, especially when I look back through the past month and see how well I took charge of things. I’ve felt helpless my entire life, and now I’m gradually becoming more assertive and in control of that life I’ve come to really own and love. Now I just need to change my doctor and acquire a therapist. These are very big things, but I feel more confident about them than I feel anxious.

We ended Yom Kippur with a huge feast right after yet another vibrant sunset.

12043065_10153282558763337_6488609652654994386_nI felt so spiritually refreshed after the fast and atonement. But I was physically in a food coma from the feast! But it was very much worth it.

On Tuesday, I met up with Trevor and we went to sign the final papers for our divorce. It was a strange, sombre few minutes at the quiet filing office. We were told that they would get the clearance from Ottawa to go ahead in exactly 4-6 weeks from that day, and then in another 4-6 weeks we would each be receiving a copy of the divorce order. As much as we both want this to be over, we felt weird as we rode the bus together then separated to go back to our respective homes. It didn’t help that it was very grey and rainy, which I absolutely love but it just seemed to make the day feel far gloomier.

12032177_10153291600368337_3095290568045510763_nOn Wednesday, the girls and I decided to layer up and take an impromptu walk solely because it was finally chilly outside. We all wore our “fairy hoods” that we made last year, which are fleece bolero jackets with long bell sleeves and big hoods that end in an extended point at the back.

We walked the dog in the quiet slate-blue moonlight, checking out all the temporary Sukkot shelters outside homes on Fisherville Road. Sukkot is a holiday that commands people to live in these shelters in memory of the forty years of the Jewish people wandering in the desert, and it’s also a harvest festival and one of the most joyous of the year following the sombre Yom Kippur. One is supposed to spend as much time as possible in the shelter, including eat and sleep there, but that’s weather permitting. The shelters we saw are big plain wood things, almost like oversized boxes, and they have big leafy branches for roofs.

We walked on and turned right, winding up on Steeles Avenue West. Even this major road was very quiet, with warm orange streetlights and the blue moonlight beautifully competing with each other. We crossed at an intersection close to Dufferin & Steeles because the girls remembered a public park and playground close to the local French school, so we made our way there and felt like children again as we played on the swings and felt the chilly night air rushing at us every time we swung forward (my glasses fogged up every time!).

I got off the swings and walked under the massive weeping willows that shield the playground from Steeles. They were great and dark, their still-green branches whispering softly in the breeze. One of them was so tall that I felt dizzy from looking straight up at it. The moon was shining so brightly, drowning out all but a few stars, and I stood under the really tall willow and felt compelled to pray.

The girls and Monkey meandered over to me as I ended my silent prayer for continued strength and guidance, and Alora found some fallen willow branches with which she made Liat and I leafy crowns. Truth be told, it felt quite natural for me to be standing there, under the trees and moon, with a willow crown on my brow! Liat looked over at me and said I was in goddess form. 😉

Then Alora, being her usual self, wrapped the rest of the large branch around herself so that she looked like she was possibly part-tree. She was almost head to toe leaves.

“Let’s just go into Mac’s looking like this and get some midnight snacks,” Liat laughed.

And we did, not caring in the least how silly we looked.

And you know what? The cashier didn’t even look at us funny. I’m not sure he dared. 😉

On Thursday, we helped Anthony and Ashley move into the building next door. They have a lovely flat with a great view of lots of trees and Bathurst Street. After we were done for the day, the girls and I went to grab Murphy (who is Liat’s friend’s dog who she walks every day) and we walked all the way out to Promenade Mall. Murphy, a German shepherd/husky mix, is too big to fit into the bathtub at his apartment, so we took him to get bathed at Pet Valu.

The leaves are quickly changing now…

12107238_10153295771858337_8686878125907562320_n

12122453_10153295772188337_6387965442420932864_nHere’s Murphy getting his much-needed bath. I was holding onto Monkey’s leash, and he was wagging his tail and whimpering as he intently watched his friend.

12112438_10153295772348337_5899697032653474992_nAfter Murphy was done and dried off, we went across the street to Ashley’s work and visited her for a couple minutes. Then we ran to T&T, and I sat outside in the sun with the dogs as Liat and Alora went in to buy fish balls and some snacks. When they came back we drank strawberry bubble tea, ate onigiri (spicy salmon and teriyaki salmon for me, salmon and eel for the girls), and gave the dogs water.

12107942_10153295772893337_4456934085662516128_nThe dogs thought the bubble tea was for them 😉 And yes, that is a Halloween spider headband on Alora’s head.

We took Friday to relax after walking so much. Saturday we helped Anthony and Ashley move in all their furniture, then they bought us pizza. We got it from Regino’s, which has some of the best pizza in the area and is just up the street from where I used to live in Thornhill. It always makes me a little sad to be on Clark Avenue for any reason, but any sombre feelings were quickly drowned out by all the joking and laughter around me and texts from Jon. I was, and am, so surrounded by love, and at that moment I was even more grateful for him and for my friends.

Sunday was another relaxation day because the girls and I were quite sore and bruised from moving furniture.

So now we’re caught up again, hooray!! Hopefully now I can get back to posting the weekly scrapbook every Friday!

 

 

Love and light,

siggie

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